I saw a glimpse of who you will become
A smile so bright it filled my soul with delight,
to know I was your mama and you were my girl.
On the day you turned two,
I ran my fingers through your still baby wispy hair.
The smell of lavender from last nights bath still lingering.
How can it be?
A life just two years ago, so distant that it almost doesn’t exist.
And it doesn’t really.
That’s how motherhood changes you.
It transforms your heart and soul into something all together unrecognizable.
But yet so beautiful it’s impossible to know there was anything else before.
There was a time when I thought two years was a huge amount of time. Two years was an eternity. Two years was plenty of time to accomplish my wildest dreams. Give me two years and I will scale the mountain and then some. I grew up thinking that once you’re an adult things will go as you want them. There was a false sense of ‘when I’m an adult’ I will not be at the whim of time. But my adult self knows better. I know that time has a mind of it’s own and just because you think everything will go a certain way, it usually means it will go the opposite. I’ve also learned that you do end up in the direction you want, it just looks completely different then you thought it would. Working a 9-5 looks different then you thought it would as a starry eyed freshman in college. And parenthood looks nothing like I expected, but oh my does it ever feel right in my bones. I can’t say I’ve accomplised much in the last two years, other then to find my feet as a mom and keep this beautiful little girl thriving. But I’ll take it. The last two years have been more eye opening then the previous 29. And that is something to celebrate.
Happy 2nd Birthday my love!