The seeds of doubt grow just as quickly as the seeds of self acceptance. Becoming a mother will challenge the garden you grow in every way possible. I tend the seeds that I hope will reap a fruitful harvest, but find myself pruning seeds of doubt instead of ripping them from the black earth. I give into the mind chatter that I can make a perfect garden and hold it all together all the time. I stand guard over my garden no matter what, I give up myself for the sake of the garden. I refuse to believe that my idea of perfection doesn’t exist.
But I’ve learned and still learning. I’ve grown and come to understand a universal truth that all mothers share.
What would you tell your pre-mama self?
I spent the morning with 6 beautiful mama’s, all at different stages of mamahood and I asked them the question. What would you tell your pre-mama self? How have your eyes been opened since you had your first child? And every one of them them said this;
Be gentle with yourself.
The truth is we are our own worst critic, whether it’s professional or in our role as mother. We worry we’re damaging them for life. We think we should have it all figured out and perfect right from the get go. We believe that all other mothers have their act together, why can’t I? We paint a pictured of what we think motherhood should look like and then spend our days trying to live up to it.
You can plan and prepare for months and months and none of it will fully prepare you for motherhood. We will all face our own challenges great and small along the way. It never really gets easier, you just find grace, confidence, and understanding.
If you’re new to motherhood or about to embark on your journey, know this; no one has it all figured out. Give yourself time and space to learn as you go. You will hopefully have decades to mother and decades to learn all there is to learn. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Take it a step at a time and believe that you are doing the best you can. Because you are. There will be days that fill you with so much pride and love your heart will feel like it’s bursting out of your chest. There will be days that feel all together to much and you’re the worst mother. And there will be a million and one days in between. This role, this job as mother is not for the faint of heart. It will test you.
Face your challenges with the confidence that you can climb the mountain. Give yourself the grace to fail sometimes and pull yourself back up and keep going. I see your mountain and I know without a doubt you can climb it. I know without a doubt you are the very best mama for your kiddo.
Be gentle with yourself. One day at a time.
xoxo – Rachael