Where’d we get the idea that this thing called motherhood had to look a certain way? That the room had to match and be perfect before a baby could arrive. That we had to have a certain house, car, job before we could navigate this path of motherhood? Maybe it’s because we live in a world that glorifies perfect and celebrates when things go exactly according to plan.
Funny thing is, that almost never happens. Right from the get go, your path of motherhood will not happen as you believe and form in your head. Right down to the perfect birth plan that gets thrown to the wind as soon as that first real contraction hits you like a ton of bricks. This journey does not follow a script. This journey will wind in ways you could never predict and even if you could you wouldn’t want to truly know where you’re going. This little human is handed to you and you just have to role with the punches. Each child delivering new and challenging jabs that will make you grow and learn on your feet. You may loose your balance but pretty soon you learn to duck or just take them as they come.
I was chatting with a friend that’s also due with her second very soon, and we both agreed that this time around ‘perfect’ doesn’t matter as much. We have a 2 bedroom, one bath house and we’re not moving. Our kids will share a 10×10 room. Shocking I know. The fanfare of being pregnant for the first time has faded and this time I’m just thrilled to be soaking up all the one on one time I can with D. What I thought motherhood looked like at this stage 5 years ago is a distant memory, glossed over with reality of what motherhood truly is. A work in progress.
There is no perfect, it’s just life. A life that doesn’t always look like someone else’s version of perfect. Kids don’t need much, your love and attention mostly. That version I had of perfect is gone and I’m just grateful to be walking this path. Grateful I have two littles that call me mom. Grateful they still love me even when I’m less then perfect and struggle with the daily burden of life. But I guess maybe that’s what we teach them, life isn’t perfect and it’s not about making it perfect. It’s about rolling with the punches and finding grace when you are less then perfect. Because life could turn out even more beautiful and ‘perfect’ then you ever imagined.
xoxo – Rachael