I didn’t know it all those years ago, years ago that I dreamed of what it would be like to be a mother. I imaged what it would be like to wake up with a baby sleeping next to me. A baby that was mine, conceived from a tiny speck and grown into a human. I would try to think about what kind of mother I would be. Would I be patient? Would I be fun? I didn’t know it then, but my heart was already beginning the process and journey it would need to take to be a mother.
Making a conscious decision that yes I’m ready to be a mother and then waiting…waiting…waiting, was just another step along the way. I wouldn’t say things happen for a reason, but sometimes we have things to learn and sometimes the very soul that is meant to touch us isn’t quite ready. As much as we think we are ready, it’s just not time.
This journey is just beginning. So much of it is new and sometimes terrifying territory. I sometimes wonder if I’m truly up to the task, but maybe just in wondering that very thought, it means that I am. Each one of us mama’s whether we have a babe in our arms or just a twinkle in our eye is up to the task. It takes so much love and commitment to continue to try, only to see a negative sign. It takes courage to say yes to a baby that was not first nourished in our womb. It takes strength to make it through the tough days. All your love pouring into this little people all in hopes that they will be happy and loving adults. To say yes to being a mother means your heart will be broken and opened and put back together in ways you never imagined. To be a mother means every child now has a piece of your heart.
To all the beautiful mama’s here today and in our dreams, I am so honored to be walking this journey with you. Supporting each other as we learn to piece our hearts back together and love on a whole new level. No matter where you are on this journey I pray you find the answers you need. I pray you learn and grow right along with your children. You are loved dear mama.
xoxo – Rachael