It’s a journey of recovery.

‘I think a spiritual journey is not so much a journey of discovery.
It’s a journey of recovery.
It’s a journey of uncovering your own inner nature.
It’s already there.’
-Billy Corgan

I laid in bed wide awake, some how I thought by going to bed early I would get extra sleep.  Instead I keep coming back to an idea.
It’s the end of the year and everyone is looking back at the year and decide if it really lived up to everything they had hoped back in January.
I see so many other photographers posting the favorites from the past year.  I think, I could do that.  And yet that feels fake.

There’s something that I think that’s in all of us.  The need/want to be liked and loved.  To be accepted.

So many times I come to the computer and write something only to delete it and write something that I think people will like.  Or that paints me in a certain way.  Instead of writing what’s true in my heart.  I always look back at those posts and wonder what I was thinking.  That’s not me.

Looking back at this year of monumental person growth and understanding I know for the first time what has been trying to scream for so long.
My true self.
I am spiritual in every sense of the word.  Living sustainably is incredibly important to me.  Being a parent is a journey only you can take.  No one can walk it for you, and it will change you in beautiful and the most sacred ways.

Now that’s it’s December 31st, I can truly say I will be more true to myself.  Write what’s truly in my heart and not try to impress and be someone I’m not.  Because the only way I can photography in an authentic way, is to be authentic in every other aspect of life.

Back in January I never would have thought this year would break open my heart the way it did.  But I’m so grateful it did.  I’m grateful for the clients & friends that showed me the direction I had been denying.  And I’m grateful for my amazing husband and the little we created for unwavering support and love.

I may have been broken and quieted in the past.  But I rise now.  I rise and shine bright!

xoxo – Rachael