Project 52, Week 52. I love you Delilah
My mama heart is full today. A stark contrast to how I felt just 24 hours ago. A day spent running around and forcing you to do things you didn’t want to do left me exhausted, cranky, and weak of heart. I sent up the white flag to your daddy at 5 and told him to come home, I was done. Why do we all inevitably get to that point some days? No matter what I did, it wasn’t the right thing in your eyes. Maybe you felt the same as me and just didn’t know what to do with yourself to make things right. Today was a new day and we started with stretching our creative muscles with homemade play dough. Hours later I tore you away to eat lunch. I need to remember to create and explore when we’re feeling outta sorts, it’s exactly what you and I were craving.
On this last week of a year long project, I can’t help but feel sentimental. I don’t want to feel sad that the year is gone. I want to celebrate how far we’ve come! I want to bask in the lessons learned and the struggles that we concord together as a family. Soak in the moments we danced in the kitchen and snuggled on the couch. I’m so grateful to have these little letters of our weeks together over the last year. They’re a reminder of what our year was when sometimes I wonder if we did anything important. They’re my memory bank for little things I’m sure to forget all to soon.
I want to leave this project on a high note of all the things I hope to teach you and your siblings in the years to come. A little life letter if you will.
1. Always love. Before you judge, before you criticize, before you yell, before you choose not to listen, love the other person. Open your heart to see their perspective and know that everyone is fighting a battle only they know and understand. Life will be filled with hurtful people, but if you love those around you first, even more love will find it’s way back to you.
I’m not perfect. I have days I struggle with this, but I know that on the days I love first are the days my heart is full and joyful. They are the days I feel like I’ve concord something invisible and climbed the highest mountain. It’s a lesson that I will probably continue to learn every day until I die.
2. Comparison is the thief of joy. SO many years I spend comparing myself to everyone and everything around me. Comparing my business to someone else. comparing my marriage to another marriage. Comparing my life to someone else. The day I choose to be grateful for what I have right in front of me is the day I began to thrive instead of just survive. It’s not easy when everything in our society tries to compare you to a set of standards. But my little love, don’t do it. You are wonderfully made and perfect in my eyes and Gods eyes. Joy can only be found within you. Period.
3. Blaze your own path. Your journey is your own and no one can walk it for you. It is made just for you and filled with all the things you need. God, your Dad and I will always, no matter what, be right along side you, cheering you on. This is one wild and crazy life, and you will move mountains if you believe in yourself.
4. Be your own best friend. Sometimes the journey is lonely and people won’t see what you see, but they don’t matter. All that matters is if you see the path and believe in it. Never allow someone to tell you something isn’t possible. If you believe it is, it is.
5. Don’t hold a grudge. It’s a waste of energy pure and simple. Get mad, but release the anger and forgive. You will only hurt yourself and steal your own joy with holding a grudge.
6. Celebrate the little things just as much as the big. The days can be long and mundane, but a impromptu dance in the kitchen just because can make it all feel a little lighter. This week we ate a cupcake at a cafe just because you had your first official hair cut. I think that one will be a must every time you get a hair cut. 
7. Run, explore, create every day. Life is not a screen, it’s an explosion for your senses. We were made to be in nature, creating with our hands, and exploring all that mother nature has to offer.
8. It’s never to late or to hard to change something. It’s never to late to change your attitude. To apologize. To change your perspective. Or to change an injustice you see.
9. Give. Give your time, your money, your patience, your heart, and your joy. They are things that only increase when you give them away. It runs opposite to what our society sometimes teaches, but I believe it’s not until we learn to give wholehearted that we will over flow with everything our heart desires.
10. Give yourself LOADS of grace. You will mess up. You will do stupid things. You will fail at times. But none of it matters if you learn from your mistakes and ‘failures’. There’s always a lesson to be learned. Give yourself the grace to know that you are learning and will be learning until the day you die. Don’t beat yourself up, instead give yourself a hug and do even better next time.
I love you more then words can ever say Delilah. You taught me so much is possible when I believe. So grateful to be your mama and that you chose us to lead you through this life.
xoxo – Your mama
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