The Lonely Patch of Clover Flowers
My list of “to do’s” has grown longer and longer instead of shorter.
I love calm but I also love to be busy. Somehow I feel like I’m accomplishing something when I’m busy.
A badge of honor.
After having D I realized a lot of my busy was just busy. I wasn’t actually accomplishing much of anything.
B.D. (Before Delilah) I worked at least 40 hours a week, sometimes more.
Now it’s a good week if I work 15 hours.
And yet I’m doing more!
This summer has been amazing with lots of families and a few weddings sprinkled in for fun.
I’m also working on a few projects, just to keep life interesting.
Lately though instead of settling into playing and exploring with her, I’m on a mission to cross something off the list.
Even if it’s just sweeping the floor.
Walking the dog has become just that, walk the dog as quickly as possible.
Cross it off!
Yesterday D decided she had plans of her own and insisted on walking.
‘Great.’ I thought, ‘our 30 minute walk just turned into an hour.’
But, then I watched her.
Really truly saw her.
She oooed and ahhhed at the sky and birds.
She pointed at the majestic trees that are hundreds of years old.
When was the last time I really saw the trees?
We investigated every walking surface we came across.
And, even found the lone patch of clover flowers to pick.
Her face lit up with pride as she handed me one and then another, and still another.
‘I’ve been doing it all wrong!’ I thought.
To do list be damned. We’re taking as long as we want on this adventure!
It’s so hard to stop and slow down, especially during the summer with a million and one things to do.
It’s all in the name of fun, but sometimes it’s just a simple walk that yields the most fun.
Living whole-hearted takes practice.
But every time I slow down and see without judgement, my heart opens just a little more.
I’m sure I’ll always need a little nudge from the universe to pay attention, but at least it’s coming from the cutest little lady.
Have you found the time to really see this summer?
xoxo – Rachael
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